Saturday, 6 February 2016

Happily Ever After

Last night I was slowly, gently drifting off to sleep. You know, in that sort of realm between the worlds I guess you could say! When suddenly, I had a thought. Do you realise how annoying it is to have a thought come to mind, knowing full well that if you don't write it all down then it'll be gone by the morning, never to be rediscovered? So I was pretty peeved, but I pulled out my notebook and pen and started writing, it was just after 9pm. By the time I finished it was 11pm, or thereabouts, as it takes a little while to transpose the meaningless thoughts into words and phrases. Eventually I got there, potentially finishing it on a different note to what I was meaning when I first started, and I might've gotten a little lost in the middle, but I thought it was a possibly interesting. Which is why I'm retyping it here...word for word.
Welcome to the crazy world called my mind, where silly ideas come from late at night when one should be asleep.

Everyone would be kidding themselves if they couldn't admit that they wished their life was like a movie, like a book with a sweet ending, like a fairy tale with a "happily ever after". Everyone wishes, at some stage of their life that it would happen at some point of time.

Of course, we all know full well that that sort of thing is written for children to read about while they are still young. To help them to grow and to preserve their innocence for as long as possible, teaching them about the good things that could come from the world if they wanted it badly enough and are willing to fight for it.
Before finally releasing them into the unknown, where only some remember the whole story they were told, while others remember only small parts. Of course, the latter are the typical people that live today - dreaming of that "happily ever after" but not quite knowing the story of their childhood well enough to realise what stages have to happen, what they must suffer through first, to get to that "happily ever after" they dream of.

Confused? Ok, I'm getting there slowly.

Think of typical movies of today; fiction, based on a true story, based on the novel, sci-fi, etc., etc., etc. Almost all of them have a "happily ever after" moment, somewhere. Take, My Sister's Keeper for example. One of the sisters dies but the rest of the family live on happily.
The last 'chick-flick' that you watched? I'd fathom a bet that the perfect girl living in the perfect town, got the perfect guy eventually. Heck, even an action based movie of sorts, they kill off the bad guys and the world is now a better place. The credits roll and everyone watching, smiles and they move on with their lives knowing the characters will forever be happy.
Just like you spend time feeling the emotions of a character in a book, get so wrapped up in the plot that you walk around reality in a daze until you've read the final page, until you read the last word. There is the end of the book but we all know know the main character will be OK. We imagine their "perfect" life they've got and we're happy - but forever dreaming about when will we get to that stage?

(You've made it this far, the main point is coming up!)

We all take the roll of the child who remembers only small parts of the fairy tales. We know what happens at the end but we forget the main points that happen earlier on. We forget that Cinderella used to be mocked and laughed at by those ugly stepsisters, we forget the life she suffered before the whole glass slipper scene and when she actually does get the prince. All we think about is the future "happily ever after" that we are destined to receive, so much so that we forget the here and now and what we have to do in the present to achieve the gift of the future.
Just like we have to go through a whole other year before we can celebrate our birthday again, so we must go through the stages before we can even glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel.

My point is that we go through life accepting the boundaries that society expects. We don't often push them, ignore them or do something excessively extreme. We accept what society expects of us and thus we expect society to give us what we see in return. We see the normal expectation displayed profoundly and distinctly in books and films, so therefore we must surely expect the same?
We must expect to jump through a few hoops and then we will be presented with our "happily ever after" we so dream of. Expecting a perfect life with the perfect partner, house, career, family etc., etc., etc., - because everything works out just fine in the books, why not in reality??

What we don't consider is that in actual fact, if the book carried on until the end of the character's life, we would soon realise that happy phase doesn't last in appearances. The happy couple who finally hooked up at the end of the book? Who knows what happened? Real life that comes into play, that destroys happiness, it comes when you least expect it to. Diseases, cancer, other illnesses, world issues, freak storms, death. You know, it all happens which is why the author chooses to end the book where he does - to give us hope that there is a happily ever after, after all.

The problem being is that we see the end goal and we want it straight away. We often don't realise, and aren't prepared, or willing to work for it. We also aren't willing to accept that life is going to be all fine and dandy once we reach that happily ever after stage.
This has turned out different to what I hoped, don't get me wrong, I'm trying to convey a good message here.

I'm basically trying to say that no matter what is on a constant display in society, you shouldn't always strive for it or believe it. We think that this "happily ever after" is a place we need to get to - say, after getting married, moving to a new place or starting a new career that you love. No. Happily ever after is always going to be where you already are. People assume that it is this futuristic land you can only dream about, but it was always right there to begin with!
You need to MAKE your "happily ever after" in the here and now. You can only live in the present, think about the past and dream about the future. You can only live in the here and now, not in the future. That would be just as effective as living in a house that you've never stepped foot in - absolutely not possible!

If this "happily ever after" place was like it is in the books and movies, our lives would freeze once we got to it and I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound awfully happy! Life is what you make it, I've said it before and I'll continue to say it - you make your own bed. If you choose to live life looking at the negatives without developing them, then your life is going to be dark and depressing. But if you go through your life shining your light you will only spread the happiness. You will be able to look back on your life knowing full well it isn't perfect and never will be, but the main thing is that you are getting through it with a smile on your dial and that is the important thing.

In all this, what I'm getting at is that you are already living in the happily ever after! Once you get into your shoes and mentally walk into it, that is where you will be and that is where you will stay so long as you continue to BE there. There are problems, issues and sadness in there, people think that to be in a happy place you need to be continuously happy. But this "happily ever after" is not so much about a happy life, rather an acceptance of the genuine facts of life. It is happy and sad, it continues and grows. It is your happily ever after and if will never, ever be frozen in place because your book never truly ends.


  1. Wow. Seriously, most people sleep at night, not have deep theological discussions with themselves!!! Nah, seriously, jokes aside, that was actually very thought provoking.

    1. What's more annoying is when my mind runs away with itself so fast that I lose ideas that would've fitted in quite well...

      Haha yes, deep theological discussions with myself is a common occurrence lol

  2. Wow :) I tried to read it last night but was just too tired lol....also remember people glass slippers are fragile sometimes its better to wear steel caps.

    1. Hehehe I live in steel caps, wouldn't be here today without them! :P

    2. Haha, steel caps... I also wouldn't be here today without them! But, to that, I would also add, that while they protect you from those who step on your toes, you must not forget that you may also unconsciously be stepping on other people's toes...

  3. I love that place where you're just about to drop off to sleep. That's the best place to have an epiphany. It's where all the best ideas and wisdom come from.

  4. Lol. It so often seems that I can go through my whole day feeling exhausted and wishing I could just sleep, but as soon as my head hits the pillow my brain suddenly finds numerous interesting thought trains to ponder. Hence the reason I typically write letters or journal entries late at night haha.

    It's so true though that joy is found in the journey . . . after all, life itself is a journey so if we wait for a destination we won't find happiness in a hurry!

    1. Which is why you write this after midnight!