Anywho, I suggested she was Herby - reinCARnated (lol) but Mum has said she's definitely like Christine, so that is her name. At first glance, I couldn't see a Christine in her, but once you take a good look at her behind the scenes, it is definitely obvious.
I've probably spent up to a grand on her this year...argh
I've made the decision to just bite the bullet and yank out these teeth of mine - don't worry, I won't be doing it myself. Now I'm just waiting on the call from the dentists to tell me when they can fit me in. Ideally, I wouldn't be doing it. It's so jolly expensive! You'd think seeing as it is such a common thing, that there would be SOME form of cheaper option or subsidy or something! But there's not, and thus my uni fund is basically gone :/ And I was doing so well too....Yes, I should be grateful that (generally speaking), I am a healthy individual and don't have many health bills, save for the annual dentist visit and optometrist. I should consider myself more lucky than some, but sometimes I'm just like...yeah...nah...But, it needs doing, so be it. And since I'm finished with work now - apart from helping mum at her job, then it won't affect me too much.
Sunday was true to its name this week, it was absolutely scorching! Dad and Nick spent time working on the spray ute, and I fell asleep in shorts and singlet on the deck. Wow, it was good. We got Dad some cool things for Fathers day, such as five climbing trees/plants. We were at a loss on Saturday as to what we could get him, so when he brought up the subject of planting out the back lawn into a pretty garden, we decided to head to Mitre 10 Mega. Originally we were gonna go for the vouchers, and let him decide. But once we found these plants, we were sold. They've got some pretty gorgeous flowers too; purple; white; orange; pink. The perfect bee attraction.
Mitre 10 had a huge range of Magnolias' for sale too, leaving me gaping. Back when we lived in Te Awamutu, there was a Magnolia that dominated the front yard - it was gorgeous. Ever since then I've wanted one, but they grow so big! Until now I never realised the colour range you could get!
We are hopefully buying a small piece of land next to our place, so we have more room for all the farm gear we need, it's still in the beginning stages with the family who own the farm next door. Fingers crossed we get it, and the first tree/s we buy WILL be of the Magnolia species. Then I can really put my mark on this place :D It's weird, I've never felt so attached to a specific tree before...
|Cowshed kitty in front of a fire for the first time|
We've gone nearly a year without our dogs, and it's crazy to say that I no longer miss their presence. I marvel at the quietness without the barking, and how I can not bother going out there, because the chooks can cope without me for a day since they're mostly free range. But with Tiny, I'll always have to wonder what life would be like if I still had her, and it's only in my imagination that I see her at her first Christmas last year.
I'm looking forward to Christmas this year. It'll be my last Christmas as an 18 year old (no kidding right?) but it'll also be my first Christmas not being a high school kid. You know, some days I get really down and stressed about exams and uni prospects, and am I making the right choices? Then there are days like today, where I just think, you know what - what will happen will happen. I can only control so much, everything else is just what is meant to be and sometimes I can't change that. Instead I've just gotta work with what life throws at me. If I get UE, then hoorah, I'm going to Palmerston North. If I don't, well I'm gonna be pretty darn upset but hey, I'll work around it and figure something out. So right now, I'm happy, I'm going to study really hard and do my best. But after the 20th November, I'm going to forget about it all and move on.
And a good way to do that, is going to be going into Auckland with Mum after exams are done and staying with my sister for the night. We're going with her to try on her wedding dress again, and to try on my bridesmaid dress and have a girly night, just the three of us. It'll be good.
Some days I wonder if I could rewind the clock, to the 1st December last year and start again. I would suggest to Mum that we stay home for the day. Tiny may have stayed at home, away from the road, she would've celebrated her first Christmas. From there, I would somehow edit the way I did things last time. Maybe Mum wouldn't have gone through what she did, and Grandad would still be with us. Instead of having a crappy start to the year because of everything that happened, I would be well ahead with school, sitting scholarship exams and everything might've been so much different - but would it have been for the better? Probably not. Sometimes I really wish we could turn back the clock, but all of this would've happened eventually wouldn't it? That's what I've got to remind myself. Everything that will happen, will happen. There's no stopping it.
I think when it comes to next year, instead of walking tentatively down the steps into the pool, the cold water lapping my feet, I think I'm gonna go straight to the deep end and dive in head first, without a doubt to weigh me down. Things might turn out differently that way :)