Friday 18 September 2015

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I think I always seem to write about the positive, good things in life. I like to put myself out there as a nice, happy go lucky, positive person as much as I possibly can, just to add a bit of zing to those gray areas in life. But today I'm going against the grain - so take it with a grain of salt if you will, sorry, just have to explain it in a way to somewhat get it out of my system I guess. And you can just stop reading now if you feel the need, no worries here.

Life isn't that fantabulous place I'm always talking about, there aren't any pots of gold at the end of our rainbows these days. Everything is just - numb I suppose. These days are frustrating, you know. Some days I'm perfectly normal, just plaster on that fake smile if necessary but otherwise I can just go about my daily routine like I normally would. Then other days, like now, I just crash out. Like I've hit a brick wall at one hundred miles an hour - tomorrow I'll be back to normal again, and it gets tiring!

I think I've put it down to perhaps having a touch of cabin fever these days. It's normal for this time of year, for many people. I'll give you that. But I don't think I've ever been so over it as now. It's not as if I don't get out and see people, I do, every single day. However it's a normal routine now, working at my four different farms over the week. Every weekday morning feeding calves. Every weekend relief milking at another farm. Every Wednesday relief milking at a farm, and every Mon, Tue, Thurs, Fri relief milking at another farm again.
I see a lot of people, I talk, I have conversations and we compare notes with how the time of year is going. But it may as well be the same as me going to the exact same job every day, it's not exciting anymore, it's boring, I'm tired after doing this for 10 weeks straight with only two mornings off work and life in general just seems lousy.

Mum and I were talking the other day, that we haven't taken any time to just go out like we normally would every few weeks. Just jump in the car, one of us drive, take the hour trip north to walk around town, see a movie, go to our favourite cafe for lunch. But I haven't been up there for a few months now I think, although Mum and Dad are up there tonight watching a movie for a change.
So, the other day we decided we'd go to one of our other getaways, wonder around the Warehouse and find my sister a birthday present. That was fine, I drove us down there. But as soon as we arrived half an hour later, all I wanted to do was turn around and go back home. Instead, Mum dragged me around the shop and I bought a nice dress for summer - I timed it right for a change, and it was actually really cheap because it still isn't the right weather for that sort of clothing apparel.
We came back home, then off I went to milk again. That was all well and good, but I had to think - when am I ever going to wear it? I'm booked for work almost every day for the rest of the year, and my purple apron is the closet thing you can get to a dress in a cowshed!!!


I dunno. I want an opportunity to go see Sam and Chantelle, but at the same time I could hardly be bothered. Then I also want to quit the young farmers, after the last performance at the last meeting we had. But now I want to go next week just for something different to do, and all I can hope is that I can convince Aidan (a bit of a friend) to go for a change, then at least somebody might be happy to see me there...although, that is a potentially risky move that I'm not sure if I'm prepared to take again - it might get taken the wrong way... :/

Back to milking I go!

12 comments:

  1. Hmmm, definitely sounds like a rough patch. But just remember, you don't have to feel 100% positive about everything 100% of the time, there's nothing wrong with wanting a break or change of scenery or whatever every now and again... :)

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  2. Routine can get really boring, I agree with you. And I like routines and plans. But I agree with you, there are those days/weeks where there's just absolutely nothing entertaining.

    You almost just need to take a weekend or week off and go do something out of town. *coughcough come down south spluttercoughcough*

    Feel free to Skype whenever you'd like to get at least some form of variation. :P

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  3. I'm not sure how but it could be very well worth trying to take some more time off, whether it's just a few days or a week, I'm not saying it would be easy to do but yeah worth trying, the relief milker needs to be relieved.

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    1. Hey Anonymous, I've missed seeing you around :)

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  4. I would love to take a break, catch a bus, a plane, a train even and just go somewhere. I would love to come to Invercargill Xj, definitely. Just like I wanted to go to Gizzy to meet Andrew one day, but that's not ever going to happen any time soon, as I'm not allowed to go.
    It's frustrating yes, and if I could say - in February, or March, I'll book some time off and come down. But everybody is getting desperate and they're booking right up into Feb and March already, so it's hard to work around.

    Nick seems to have a day off each week, but then I have to cover him, so along with that and having to cover for non-family staff who don't show up for work, it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel :)

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    1. Okay, yet another totally random comment from a totally random person.
      I was actually thinking, maybe you're getting itchy feet or something. For instance, if dairy/farming is what you want to do, but at the moment it's just becoming a real drag, would you try a few months in another area, say, Canterbury, somewhere where they have totally different methods and styles of it, just to get some extra ideas of things? I dunno, totally random thought, probably not even workable or anything, but thought I'd chuck it out there...

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    2. random person...huh?

      Hmm I considered that for a while, but if I were to do that I'd be expected to be an actual "farm worker", that in general I wouldn't really want to do, nor would I be really good at it. Nobody would be interested in someone wanting a couple months experience in just a different region, and having no skills in quite a few essential areas such as tractors and what not.
      I thought of doing some sort of exchange trip, staying with people for a couple days, in exchange for a bit of farm work before moving onto another area or farm type. But yeah. :)

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    3. Haha, sorry, random personality, not random as in random person... :P

      Yeah, well, like I say, just a random thought. I know unis and such require you to do "experience", I wasn't sure if the same idea might apply or anything. No worries... :P

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    4. haha yeah I was a good idea :)

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  5. Aw that isn't a fun place to be :/ You should come to Auckland!!! ;P There are lots of different things down here we could do! :D lol

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    1. hehehe Auckland, erm, that probably wouldn't be that much of a problem to be honest, so long as I timed it when they all migrate up our way on the weekends! lol :P

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    2. You sound so excited about coming down here :P It isn't Aussie but we could still have fun ;P

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