It's funny because thinking back to last year, when I was tired and worn out. When I remember feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere, I was so positive! There are heaps of smiling faces, posts filled with sarcasm and humour. Even amongst a really bad year, I was still a bubble of positivity. And, so far, I haven't walked into the pool at the shallow end, but I haven't run to the deep end yet either. I think I'm sorta half way there, where other people have splashed me a bit, otherwise I'm still dry but still on my way towards the target. I'm just walking calmly, cos I don't want to fall in too early.
Yeah, that's probably confusing for most but some of you will understand I'm sure. All I know is that once I get there, after I leap off the edge, there is nothing that will stop me swimming - and I really can't wait! On the poster filled with happy quotes that I got from HM Rage last year, there is one that goes "I am so excited for all the good things to come!" Yes, that may seem a little OTT, but it's true. The future is daunting, but exciting.
There are so many quotes, so many poems, so many single words. Hope. Dream. Live. Laugh. The list goes on, they're all filled with this sort of energy of "happiness", as if reading them will instantly fill you with joy or something. But it isn't the case, people look at these sweet little poems, smile in recognition, then turn away and forget.
So many people I work with omit these really bad vibes, it's so strong you can feel it. It's like my little bubble is shuddering from the pressure of it. I'll be honest, I can't stand it and it makes me really nervous around these people. When I get back in my car and start heading home, I feel that instant, refreshing relief to be away from them.
We have to make our own happiness. Yes, you're probably rolling your eyes at that statement, you see it and hear it everywhere. It's totally not true, you think. But actually, it is! You can't walk around with your bad vibes expecting it not to escape and cause damage, just like I don't walk around and show my best fake smile. You've got to be true to yourself, and realise what you're expelling out into the world.
There is this song that I remember best from my Girls Rally days and it goes something like:
Ripples on the water
From one little stone,
The water is smooth
If you leave it alone.
Each pebble you toss
Makes a difference you see
The ripples on the water,
Will touch you and me.
Pebbles of good
Pebbles of bad,
Pebbles of happiness
And pebbles of sad.
No way to stop them
Once they begin
The ripples on the water,
Go on without end.
It's such a cute little song, but when you think about it, it's got a really decent meaning behind it. I don't like preaching on and on. I know people don't like it, but seriously. Coming from me, being a positive, happy, bouncy, light-hearted person 99% of the time, is pretty cool. It's much more enjoyable spreading happiness around, always smiling. In comparison to the other option anyway!
And with this lovely storm rolling in, potentially wrecking havoc as she goes, what a better time to look on the bright side of things, with all this dull weather?? :)